Big, Bold and Beautiful!

Beautiful Woman Journal

Are You In or Around Cinncinnati?

Cincinnati Divas “The Diva In Me Conference” for the Full Figure Woman Specializing in Empowerment, Education & Enhancement February 15th & 16th, 2008 at Cincinnati Sheraton North

Attention Fellow DIVAS!!
Just Dazzlind is offering YOU a ONE DAY CONFERENCE REGISTRATION SALE 2 FOR 1SATURDAY DECEMBER 15, 2007

ONE DAY SALE IS SATURDAY DECEMBER 15, 2007 FROM 9:00AM EST. UNTIL 2:00PM EST.

Order online www.justdazzlind.com to receive the discount. LOOK FOR THE SPECIAL BUTTON- ME AND MY GIRLS!

The Diva In Me Conference
www.justdazzlind.com

Can You See Me

I’ve noticed something that quite irritating. The thing is, I don’t know if it’s because of my own insecurities that I notice it, and if in fact it even has anything to do with being plus size…

People don’t look me in the face when they talk to me. I have found that people look past me, over me, or just not at me in general. To me eye contact is such a strong communication on it’s own. I find it extremely insulting and hurtful that people do this. That doesn’t mean I want to be stared down either…lol So for any of my friends that read my blog…don’t get any wise ideas!

The reason I wonder if this is associated with my size, mind you this is my mind here…I can connect dots that aren’t even in the same book! LOL but anyways, I have ‘thin’ friends and when they are around, I notice this ‘phenomenon’ even more. I can remember standing next to a girlfriend of mine during a conversation that I thought I was a part of…apparently I was wrong…because although we were all talking and cutting up, no one would look directly at me.

I guess it would be different if I was a horrible person, with the personality of a wet washcloth or some grotesque growth on my face that no one wanted to be caught staring at….but I can cut up with the best of them. Granted I’m no social butterfly, but I’m not a complete outcast either…although I wonder sometimes..

I tell myself to get over it, but there are times that I want to scream “HELLO, Do you not f&(#ing see me! I am standing right here!!

So as you can see….my squeaky little annoying, paranoid, insecure voice has been screaming in my head. One day I am going to squash that little bug. One day!

Catching Up

It’s been a while since I have had the chance to post to my blog. Thought I would take a minute and catch up.

I haven’t been to the gym in a month or two….I let myself get discouraged and have had a hard time getting back into the swing of it. I will get there…

I’ve been working on being comfortable in my own skin. Who would have thought gaining self confidence would be so damn hard. One bad thought and it’s 10 steps backwards. One kind one and it’s a fricken babystep forward. Sort of hard to gain much ground at this rate…it would be much easier if someone would bottle it up and sell it..I would be first in line!

We went and had family pictures done this weekend…can you believe it has been almost 7 years since the last one! I am sure you can tell how much I dislike pictures…figured we’d better do it before my youngest who is 5….grows up wondering why she isn’t in our pictures! How pitiful is that!

I’ve finally set me up a myspace profile! as well as a Facebook profile. Not that I have a lot of time to do either of them! But thought it would be fun.

Work has been keeping me busy. I have a seminar at the end of this week, love going to them! It’s work and a vacation all in one!

Taking it one day at a time…

Big, Beautiful and Bold!

Confidence

Some women have so much of it….while others of us….wish we had a drop of it. It’s one of those things that if I could find a way, I would bottle it up and sell it!

In my job I get the chance to meet and work with some of the most well known Internet Marketers. A job that I love and can’t imagine not doing. But oh what I would give to be a social butterfly! :)

There is this one woman in particular that I love and adore! I won’t mention names, but she knows who she is. I see her at these events and she is dripping from head to toe with confidence. She literally glows with it! Read more »

Forever Phat!

So as you may recall, I joined the gym several weeks back. I thought I would give you a quick update…

After many weeks of working out 3-4 days per week, a minimum of 1 hour, sometimes 2 hours, I have officially lost….

ZERO!

Can you freakin believe it!? WHAT THE $%#^!

Yes I have watched my diet…cut out Starbucks and soda’s. I drink a ton of water every day… And still…NADA!

It’s hard not to be discouraged. But I keep telling myself eventually I will see the difference…then I have days when I begin to wonder if I actually will.

Then I think, well maybe I am not working hard enough…but man do I have to kill myself in order to lose a few pounds?

So I have started to think that I am will forever be PHAT (thanks to Mo’nique…Pretty, Hot and Thick)

Introduce Yourself

I want to take a quick minute and thank the many readers and subscribers to my blog. Most of you are silent ‘partners’ and that is ok! I hope that my rantings and my own struggles help you with yours! Afterall, that is why I started this blog.

What I would love to see happen is that each of you take a minute and give a quick introduction about yourself to us all. You don’t have to get personal, or you can….completely up to you.

I will start…

My name is LaDawn. I am 27. Been married for almost 9 years. I have two little girls ages 7 and 4. I have battled my weight all of my life and probably will til the day I die. I am working on my self esteem and self love. I believe that beauty is in all shapes and sizes.

Who’s next…. :)

Again, Thank you to you all!

Making a Decision

I have decided to join the gym. We are planning a trip to Disney World next year and I don’t want to have to worry about not being able to get on the rides with my girls. I find that I don’t do a lot of things because I worry that I am to big and would have to suffer the embarrassment of having to get off, or leave.

I love being curvy and thick. I don’t want to be small…I just want to be a bit healthier. Over the last couple years my weight has really went up and I realize that I need to watch it because of the health concerns that come with it. My family is plagued with Diabetes. Not something I want to contend with.

This is going to be a heck of a battle…but I know in the end it will be worth it. All part of this journey back to finding me. This is just one of those struggles that we all have to deal with…

Sometimes it’s just to hard..

I always try to do my best and stay positive about who I am. Some days it’s just to hard. Some days I feel like I am lying to myself about feeling ok with my weight, while other days, I do feel great.

I think it’s the yo-yo emotions that are so hard. They are as bad as the yo-yo diets I have tried over the years…up one day down the next, up and down etc! Such a pain in the rear! Read more »

Digging Deep and Finding the Beauty

I have always believed that each of us is beautiful in our own special way. Some of us are pretty to look at, some of us have nice hair, some of us have nice teeth, some of us have great personalities. If you think about it, there is something about each of us, that someone else admires, or wishes they had.

No I didn’t say they would admit it openly…

Do you ever give yourself a compliment? Tell yourself that you look beautiful?

Sometimes I think we get so caught up in the day to day, that we forget to take a minute and be our own friend. We forget that being comfortable in your own skin, starts with loving yourself. We can be our own worst critics.

I am sure you are wondering what brings this up…well I got to thinking the other day as I was putting my makeup on, that I really like my eyes and how I felt so pretty that day, but as I finished up and walked by the full length mirror, how hard I was on myself. And how in that split second of putting myself down, that one thought that entered my head, made me feel horrible and instead of wearing what I originally picked out, I ended up in a pair of jean capris and a tshirt. I ended up pulling my hair back and saying screw it.

Had I only been a little nicer to myself…I would have felt better that entire day. I would have felt beautiful, I would have looked beautiful, but it changed in that instant with that one nasty thought.

So when you are getting dressed today…do me a favor. When you walk by that mirror, don’t let that one dreaded thought get the chance to ruin your day. Beat it to the punch. Flip your hair, bat your pretty little eyes, smile and say…”Honey, you look great today!” and just keep on walking.

Dig down deep and find your beauty that you hide away. Be you, be big and be beautiful!

Vacation

So I decided to take my girls to Panama City for a week. I was dreading the swimsuit on the beach and seeing all of the ’skinny’ chicks and feeling out of place…so I went shopping. :)

Nothing makes me feel better than S H O P P I N G!! LOL I figured I would probably never see any of those people again in my life…at least not til I went back to the beach…even then I seriously doubt I would recognize any one…I decided that I was going to be beautiful. :)

I bought me several strapless tops and a few new shorts and capris. I rarely wear strapless tops because I feel like I am hanging out all over the place. But I decided I was going to wear them and enjoy my time at the beach.

It was so beautiful down there! We didn’t want to come home! We spent lots of time on the beach, laying out while the girls played in the sand. We also spent lots of time by the pool and swimming.

We went to Seashell Island, got to see lots of dolphins along the way. It really was a lot of fun.

I spent NO time worrying about my weight, what I looked like etc..I just enjoyed myself as I sipped Margarita’s on the beach!

We are planning to go back before the summer is up. I can’t wait!