I was looking at this picture of me the other day, it was from when I first got married about 8 years ago. I was about 160 pounds and wore a 10-12. Can you believe that I thought I was fat then! Do you know what I would do right now to be that size again! Was I crazy!

It’s kind of sad the emotional scars that we put on ourselves. How truly deep they go and how they rarely heal completely up. Do you know how many times I walk by the mirror in a day and call myself fat, or some other horrible name?

Some days are good..I walk by, “Hello Beautiful! You are smokin HOT today!” and other days…let’s just say I avoid the mirror. I have been trying to tell myself something nice every day. But this voice in the back of my head wants to scream obscenities at me! It’s crazy! LOL

You know, I can joke about my weight but good lord DON’T let anyone else! I would rip some eyes out for it. LOL

The truly sad part that I struggle most with is how I treat myself. I have NEVER been skinny. I have NEVER liked my body..EVER. I played sports in high school, even did cheerleading and dance for a few short weeks…lol (I was more into sports and boys) LOL

This journey is a long one. One step forward…3 steps back. One day I will learn that no matter what my size, I’m beautiful. It doesn’t matter what other people say, or what other people think, or how many rude comments and dirty looks I get, I am beautiful. They will just have to live with that. We are our own worst critic…although the other stuff hurts pretty bad too some times.