Bad Day
Ok so in my last post I mentioned that all of this was starting to affect my marriage..Not in the sense because of my weight gain being a problem..more so in the way that I see myself and how I feel about myself.
I have been pondering on just how personal I want to get on here but I am just going to put this out there because I know there are women that feel like me and maybe this will help someone else…
I stopped wearing the sexy underwear, the sexy bras etc.. a long time ago. For one it was a pain in the ass to find them in my size and have them actually fit right. But in my mind I had this image of what I actually looked like wearing them…it wasn’t a pretty image. It actually made me hate myself a little more and feel a little more ashamed. So instead I started buying the plain white bras and the highcut briefs. My husband hates my “Granny panties” and has threatened on several occasions to burn them all.
So about 3 weeks ago he brought this up again…I decided it was time to start feeling ‘pretty’ underneath again. I have always loved to have that little hidden ‘spice’ and thought it was a good time to get back in the habit of dressing up from underneath. I spent several hours online shopping.
I have to admit that I am a cheapo so I hate to spend a ton on undergarments…but after a little while I decided to buy several things from Torrid.com
They were having a sale so I ended up spending about $60 but got I believe 9 items. So not too bad.
I was so excited when the box came…tried on the tops as I knew the bottoms would all fit, everything fit perfectly and I couldn’t wait to show my husband…Well…
2 weeks later I finally decided to wear one of the sexy cami tops (not just a plain cami, it’s lacy and see through with the underwires and it’s just really cute) and the matching panties…That’s when the melt down happened…
The damn thing didn’t fit! How in the world could something that fit so perfectly 2 weeks before fit so horribly now! I was mortified. The more my husband tried to help…the worst I felt. Before it was all over with I went from feeling beautiful and sexy, fixing to do my hair and makeup and dress up a bit…to feeling like the cow that I was seeing in the mirror..I changed all of my clothes, including the ‘sexy’ matching panties, put on a Tshirt and jeans, no make up and went in the living room where no one else was and cried.
What made this all so bad was that I had went to the doctor earlier in the week because I was sick and I had actually lost 2.5 pounds! My dear sweet husband tried to say that my breasts had gotten bigger and that was why it didn’t fit….needless to say it didn’t make me feel any better.
I haven’t tried getting into any of the things I bought..they are now just sitting in my drawer. It’s amazing how one bad day can pull you down and the rebound is so hard.
